Tag Archives: the death of unrealistic hopes and dreams

Diary of a Divorce: Jan 26th

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THAT’S ALL, FOLKS…

      Well, that day has finally arrived: my marriage is officially OVER. As of today, I am officially restored to my single status.

       And how do I feel?

       Invigorated–Free–Renewed–and finally, just a little sad.

       Of course, it’s the clear acknowledgement that the dream has come to a close. All that hope and anticipation of a life spent together with this man have ended. It was, as my ex used to say, what it was. I can remember my wedding day. I was beaming with happiness. The house was filled with dozens of beautiful, multi-colored roses. It was a new beginning, a start of a new couple: Mr. and Mrs.

         Now, it’s back to me and to Ms. I have requested, and been granted in the dissolution, a return to my maiden name. I will proceed with changing all the paperwork starting on Tuesday as I apply for a new Social Security card. If I knew then what I know now, four marriages later, I would never have changed my last name. But it’s “water under the bridge.”  Ultimately, all those romantic fantasies boil down to forms, to regulations, to legalities. In the final analysis, a marriage is a legal partnership with ramifications often requiring resolution by courts of law. I’m grateful my dissolution was a “friendly” one that we handled by a paralegal. We had no property or children together.

           I suspect most of us enter into these partnerships willingly and with high hopes for happiness that will last forever.  As we know, that’s not always how it ends. Does it surprise me that 50% of marriages end in divorce? Nope. We’re not our parents’ generation. We demand that it be good. We are unwilling to settle for a warm body lying next to us in bed each night. The oldest reason many people stayed together was “for the sake of the children.”  Even that is often not enough to keep two unhappy people married.

         In a month and a half, my 28 yr old daughter will be walking down the aisle as she promises her life to her new husband. The wedding will be nostalgic for me, but beautiful and filled with all my hopes that my daughter will find in marriage what I didn’t or couldn’t. I wish her all the best with all of my heart.

          And, in the meantime, I will be bringing to a close this chapter of my life–and of my blog life. The diary of my divorce has reached its final page.  No, I won’t discontinue blogging. I just need a new name and a new goal. Perhaps I will talk about my new adventures as an older single woman. No matter what happens in my next chapter of life, I suspect it’ll be interesting. So please stick around, folks. You ain’t seen nothing yet!!!

 

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